Tonight I want to talk about love or… give me this brush I’m gonna show you something new !
I have always said that my best writings are the ones I do without thinking and the worst ones are those papers I write trying to justify myself. I never was comfortable with justifying, I’m not that kind of girl. People may say I’m savage or impolite but who cares ? I definitely don’t. This is how I grew up and I love it this way. I used to say and think that I don’t care about my readers, I only write for myself, so I usually don’t explain and these were my favorite papers. It may surprise but they were the favorite papers of the readers too.
I also realize that my favorite texts are the ones I write when I feel lonely or in love, but these two state of mind are quite similar for me. When I’m in love, all my world is about me and the lover of the moment, so I feel like we’re the only one in this world… and it feels good.
I love these 30 minutes I spend twice a week walking in the streets of my big city at night, listening to music, watching people, crossing the glance of strangers staring at me, sharing these short moments with these total strangers and feel like we will be a part of each others lives forever. My favorite moment is still while I’m standing beside the green light, staring at these cars running, looking at these different faces and I feel like I’m stealing some of their intimacy, watching many lives scrolling in front of my eyes… such a delicious emotion.
Ignoring what’s going on around me and what’s going on inside of me is not the best way of living my life, maybe this is why I feel like I missed the boat but I’m not used to this. I know what the problem is, I’m always afraid of conflicts and I think that it’s time for some bravery.
I feel like this year will be full of great lessons and big change !